GriefStephanie Kelley

Losing Faith Finding Hope Author, Jesse Cruz

Nothing can prepare you for the joy of having a baby or the devastation of losing one. Jesse Cruz and his wife have been on a roller coaster of an emotional journey with the loss of their baby, Faith. Cruz tells the story of this devastating event and God’s grace through it all in his new book, Losing Faith Finding Hope. Now, meet the man behind the story.

Stephanie Kelley: Please introduce yourself to our readers.
Jesse Cruz: My name is Jesse Cruz. I am a professional speaker, life coach and author. My passion is to encourage others through writing and speaking. I am located near Rochester, NY. My new book Losing Faith Finding Hope is launching April 13th 2021.

SK: Please share your testimony.
JC: I came to know the lord two years after getting out of the military. I was a single parent and divorced. My life was heading down a dark path from all the drinking, partying and destructive relationships. In June of 2013 I grew tired from running from God. I sat in church every Sunday but nothing changed. It wasn’t until I made the decisions to let God become Lord and Savior of my life that I became a changed man. I told God to come into my heart. I had to know this God thing was for real. I prayed he would help me and he’s never left me.

SK: Please share the story behind your book, Losing Faith Finding Hope.
JC: My book Losing Faith Finding Hope is a story about my journey of grief and healing. We prayed for years to have a child and finally we were blessed with a baby girl named Faith. Faith was born 4 months early and was only 1 pound when she was born. We had great times in the hospital watching her improvement, followed by moments of despair. I witnessed my daughter flat line. Then I witnessed her come back to life. I watched this happen multiple times. After 42 days of fighting Faith flatlined for the final time as she took her final breath and died in our arms. I have spent years in support groups, counseling, speaking and writing about my experience on her final day on earth. Although, my Faith left me I held onto hope. The hope of heaven, the hope of healing and the hope of holding her in my arms again, only this time she will be more alive than ever before.

SK: Why do you believe in God?
JC: I believe in God for more reasons than I could ever count. I know in those last moments in my daughter’s hospital room I felt his presence enter. He saved her. He saved me. He loved me when I was unlovable. Even when I wanted nothing to do with Him, He kept pursuing me. Everyday in the beauty of his creation I am reminded of all he has made.

SK: What do you hope to accomplish with the launch of your new book?
JC: I hope for people to have hope. H.O.P.E. means Helping Other People Everyday. One of the best ways to help others is to share our story. We all have pain and we can begin healing when we have the courage to talk about our scars. Our pain provides the guide to help other people heal on their journey. I believe this book is going to touch millions of lives. It’s okay to grieve, there is no timeline.

I see this book as a way to show how a man who had lost his faith was able to find it again. This book has taken my faith to greater heights. I know it will do the same for others.

SK: Has the writing of your book been painful or has it helped you heal from your experience?
JC: There were moments where I wanted to quit. Writing about the worst day of my life and sharing all the details was challenging. However, the writing process became therapeutic. Sharing the pain that I went through has given me the courage to heal and to inspire others to do the same.

SK: What was the most comforting phrase, verse or promise that you held onto throughout your painful trauma?
JC: A verse that was in Faith’s room was Psalm 46:5 which states God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. On the cold morning of February 16, 2017, God did exactly what he said he would do. He saved her at the break of day. I learned that scripture is not always meant for what will happen on earth, sometimes its for what’s going to happen in heaven. My idea of God helping her was to heal her on earth. His idea of healing her was in Heaven.

SK: Do you believe in the “Seven Stages of Grief” or did you have a different experience?
JC: I have researched and have learned about seven stages of grief, I have seen data on five stages and even eight stages. I have experienced all the stages and for me the number of stages isn’t important. However, choosing to give myself permission to feel those stages is extremely important. I have had moments where I would move from stage one then to stage two and would relapse back to stage one. Grief is a thumbprint and everyone experiences it in their own unique way.

SK: Has going through the loss of a child changed the way you deal with others? Especially those who are grieving?
JC: Has going through the loss of a child changed the way you deal with others? Especially those who are grieving? I am forever changed from the loss of my daughter. A part of my heart is gone. Since I know what it feels like to have your heart ripped from your chest I have become more compassionate towards people experiencing loss. I have learned to be more patient with people and recognize everyone is some pain they are processing and their behaviors and attitudes are a representation of their attempt to make sense of their grief.

SK: What was the most practical thing that someone did for you that made you feel loved while you were in crisis?
JC: After telling my good friend that my daughter died, he did not offer any scripture, quotes or any words of wisdom. He simply cried with me. I could feel his compassion through the phone. Shortly after we hung up the phone he showed up to my house a few minutes later. He came and sat with me showing me the ministry of presence.

SK: How can our readers get in touch with you?
JC: Please get a hold of me at the following links.
https://www.facebook.com/jesse.cruz.5
https://www.facebook.com/jesseacruzliveyourdash/ https://www.instagram.com/authorjessecruz/?hl=en
http://linkedin.com/in/jesse-cruz-133714164
https://twitter.com/jessecruzspeaks
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk0sLrUezjPBJESlcE2Bkfg https://www.joinclubhouse.com/@jessecruzspeaks

Thank you to Jesse Cruz for sharing these painful, yet meaningful moments with us. If you would like to get in touch with Jesse to learn more about his coaching services or booking him to speak at your event, please contact him by visiting his website.