Help! I’ve Got a Picky Eater!
Kids take our worlds and turn them upside down. They fill us with delight and fear. Even after reading all the parenting books and perusing social media for answers, we are still left with situations that we never saw coming. (And my kids are only in elementary school!)
When my oldest was a toddler, I promised myself that I would not be the mom whose child survived on chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. My husband and I both spent time overseas and share a love of foreign foods, so our dinners were diverse. Our daughter ate most things we put in front of her, and we congratulated ourselves on training her to have varied tastes.
Before too much time had passed, another baby joined the family. I no longer had time to prepare grand meals, but I knew this was only a season and was sure we would get back to our good habits soon. A few years later, we moved, I had another baby, and COVID-19 hit the world. I was no longer worried about preparing healthy meals, I just wanted everyone fed. My now-kindergarten girl and her toddler brother had become extremely picky about their meals. Even though this behavior was completely understandable based on the recent life-changing events, I knew we needed to work on better eating habits.
After quickly learning that bribery and threats only made our mealtimes miserable for everyone (especially the parents), I did some research and found some tools that worked for our family – at least some of the time:
1.) Make mealtimes silly – make fun sandwiches using cookie cutters or make food creations like broccoli trees on a mashed potato mountain with a gravy lake. Play games like “Simon Says” and have “Simon” give silly commands regarding how you eat your food (“Simon says, ‘take a fairy size bite of your sandwich’.”) or play “Mother May I” with food. Make sure your kids get a chance to be in charge, too!
2.) Give choices – At mealtimes, I put out at least one item that I know each child likes (although sometimes they decide they suddenly dislike it). Then I let them choose which other things they would like to try (they have to try at least one!)
3.) Discuss nutrition – one of my children is a big thinker, and it has been helpful for him to discuss what certain foods do for our body. “Red fruits and veggies help make your heart strong!” There are several social media pages and websites you can check out to learn more about this. One of my favorites is “Kids Eat in Color.”
4.) “Hire” a sous-chef – my kids love helping to decide the menu and prepare meals. Help them find kids’ cookbooks at the library or kids’ recipes online. Give them some guidelines and involve them as much as possible. I find my kids are more willing to try something new if they have a hand in preparing it.
5.) Eat with friends – sometimes your child will eat better with his buddy or his grandma than he will at home. Use it to your advantage! Ask someone over to share a meal with you or meet some friends at a park for a picnic.
6.) Explore therapy – if your child has sensory issues or is losing weight because of food refusal, you should consider therapy. There are many great therapists who can work with you and your child to come up with a specific plan to help them become better eaters.
7.) Pray for wisdom and grace. There are so many moments when I am humbled by my own lack of ability to navigate these issues that surprise me in raising children. Coming before the Father and admitting that I have run out of ideas is humbling, but He is generous in giving me what I need for each moment.
Although this list is not exhaustive, I hope you will find some tips to help you as you work through picky phases with your own kids. In my experience, some of these things work beautifully one day and flop miserably the next. Some days, I am shocked to find everyone eating a meal I was sure no one would like. Hang in there momma. You are doing a great job!
