Daily DiscernMichelle Gott Kim

SOUL’d OUT

October 18th, 2023

Psalm 18:19, ‘He stood me up in a wide-open field. I stood there saved; surprised to be loved!’ (MSG)

Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Law

Luke 12:34, ‘”Where you deposit your treasure, that is where you fix your thoughts—and your heart will long to be there also.”’ (TPT)

Have you ever been possessed by something? There are so many things that can arrest our affections and attentions. Remember, we have been thinking this month about how we were created to worship something, designed with a chasm inside each of us that is God-sized, God-shaped. While God, our Maker and Father, fancied us to worship Him, to fall at His feet and be overwhelmed in His presence, He also gave us the freedom to choose.

So, there are many things we choose to gaze upon, to stand in awe of, rather than giving glory and praise to God Almighty. Insomuch as God, our Creator, made us with a hollow soul that He alone can fill, He also knows we try everything else in this world to fill the emptiness. He knew we would sell out to other things, people and places, stuff that never satisfies, and therefore, we become possessed by our longing to feel fulfilled. Those possessions often reign, and before we know it, we are taken over and controlled by something with which God never intended us to be consumed. Those things that possess—well, they even come in evil forms. After all, isn’t it really about a spiritual battle, between goodness and wickedness, darkness and light, corruption and purity?

There’s this woman we find in the Bible—her name is Mary—who was owned by seven demons. Now, this is the true form of being possessed! We find in the Gospels that Jesus drove those evil spirits from her, and thus, it is inferred and believed, she soul-d out to Jesus. She traveled with Him, supporting His ministry, helping spread the Gospel. In my wildest imagination, I cannot fathom there being seven demons taking up residence in my life, but then I am reminded of the many things I have allowed to control and own me. I consider everything from which Jesus set me free, all the stuff Jesus has driven out of me, each stronghold He removed from my life, and then it is conceivable. Where Jesus went to minister, to heal, to teach about the great love of God, Mary often was there also.

Then, we find Mary at the Cross. I wonder what was going through her heart. Perhaps agony, the devastation, waste, anguish, the utter defeat she must have felt, having lost someone who had become EVERYTHING to her. Suddenly, so horrifically, gone. Just like that. I cannot fathom how empty, deflated, Mary must have felt. So let down. So left.

I also am enthralled by what happens next. The Mary who Jesus rescued from a horde of spirits, who gave herself wholly to His mission—whatever was needed, who laid flat on her face and wept at the foot of the Cross as her Lord took His final breath…we also find her at sunrise on the third day, waiting at the tomb. It is simply my conjecture, but I wonder if Mary was so soul’d out, so committed to her Lord, that she knew it hadn’t ended that way. After all, He predicted and promised the betrayal, His death, and also, that He would rise again in three days. Even though I am sure no one knew what that meant, I wonder if Mary traveled to the tomb just to see…wondering ‘What if?’ as she walked along. I want to be that soul’d out so I take Jesus at His word, whatever He says, I am there waiting simply because He said it.

There were other women in the Gospels also, women soul’d out to Jesus. Women who had been possessed by people, by longings, by ideals, and then found themselves freed by Jesus from all the things which compromised them, that half-heartedly filled voids deep within. So soul’d out a year’s worth of wages, bottled in a jar of pure parfum, would be poured out on Jesus’ feet. So soul’d out, no matter what the crowds whispered, evident worship and honor would leak like tears onto His feet and be wiped away by strands of hair. So soul’d out, no matter the throngs and crowds in the way, push would be loosed to healing and freedom. So soul’d out, the ‘only one qualified to throw stones, didn’t’, and rather, wrote forgiveness and freedom in the dirt. So soul’d out, just a glimpse of Him, just a touch of His hem, would give way to complete healing and forgiveness. So soul’d out, a word from His lips would replace forevermore all hunger and thirst with satisfaction from the Bread of Life and Living Water. So soul’d out, all the blemishes that left an eternal stain within the soul could be cleansed white as snow. That’s me. I want to be like that, live like that, love like that.

I wonder what Mary Magdalene was thinking about as she walked along the dusty path, picking her way over the rubble, hoping she remembered the way to the borrowed tomb. I bet the memories drained from her eyes and dripped from her chin. I wonder what was filling her emptiness inside on that day, because, you see, for quite some time, Jesus had captivated her. Can you imagine sitting beside Jesus, peace, grace, love, all of it emanating from Him like a heady parfum while being literally in His presence?! I know what it is like today to be in His presence and how all the holes just dissipate, eaten up by the devotion He yields. But in person?! What took over the hollow within Mary after they crucified her Lord? Was she forlorn, punctured and withered? Or would she have been excited, wondering if He had kept His word? When she got to the tomb, did she really think someone had stolen His body, frightened by what they’d done with Him? Did she possibly ponder for just a minute if He’d deserted them? If it had been a trick; all along it had been a hoax and they’d all been duped. Or do you think she knew when she arrived at the burial site, instead of finding His body, she would encounter not only her Lord but now recognize Him also as her Savior? Do you think she thought wherever He’d gone, she was going too. Because she was so soul’d out, she’d follow Him anywhere.  

Psalms 42:11, ‘Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God—soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He is my God.’ (MSG)